Plus side to all of this?

My prediction was wrong, but my body decided to play a trick on me anyway. I've been contracting since 2am yesterday morning. I really thought that was it...I even "labored" alone for a few hours, trying to enjoy my body working. I prolonged going to the hospital in case I hadn't progressed that much. We arrived at the hospital at 9:30, only for my contractions to slow and I was told I had not progressed at all. Talk about a bummer. I was given the option to stay there, walk around, yada yada or go home. So, I returned home.

They have been getting stronger since...but will sometimes taper off...still not real labor if that happens.

I laid awake last night, just the contractions and me. I didn't wake up Anthony or pick up my phone or ipad or laptop. I just focused on my body, wondering if it would talk to me, tell me what the plan is. I am struggling between the feelings of whether this is my body working or this is my body telling me it can't work. I'm trying not to be negative, I'm breathing out the negative as I type and breathing in the positive.
The contractions have stopped again, the ones that had me doubled over last night. I'm going to call the Dr today and maybe they can check me, let me know if absolutely anything is happening down there. I'm going to request that they talk to me as if I had never had a cesarean before...just so they don't bring me down.

I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I am not going to give up. If this is what my body needs to do then so be it. As long as the baby is fine, I can handle this. I can do it. I have the faith inside myself and the faith of those around me.

What a jumbled post of emotions. Perhaps I should try to get an hour of sleep before the office opens. Before I start really talking crazy.ha.

Plus side to all of this? I have a house full of family. My parents, my grandparents, everyone here to offer support. They keep looking worried, but that's only because they love me. It is nice to have all of them here...Madeline is in her glory.