Wednesday, February 5, 2014

It's NOT all puppies and rainbows, people!

Please, before you read this, know I'm the type of person that's gets over things quickly. So, it's no biggie, I wrote about it because 1) I found it comical the second I got everyone out of the damn car 2) I ALWAYS write about happy things 3) I know others can relate. No worries, people, I'm not going to skip town.....YET.

Hell of a night. One of those nights where you just expect things to go wrong by the end of it. One of those nights where you walk in the door and pour a glass of wine just because.

It was supposed to be an easy night. Anthony was taking Joshua to get his asthma meds (eff asthma, it is a bitch). I was taking Madeline to get her ballet supplies (eff the damn country where there are no stores). Easy peasy, right? I don't mean to be a downer, but nothing ever seems easy with us. I guess I'll just run through my night from the beginning....

Joshua had a serious attitude, like the doctor visit was inconveniencing HIM and not us! Dropped his attitudey ass off with Anthony, where, of course, the 'tude is gone and I look like a nut for being stressed. 
Then, if you read my earlier blog you know that Joseph HATES the car, the back seat wailing started and lasted alllllllllllllllll the way until we arrived at Target. UGH. Have you ever rode in the car with a screaming baby?? The first 10 minutes you try everything....loud music, singing at the top of your lungs, having your toddler act silly, turn on the inside car lights (safe, huh?), you even pull over a couple times to replace the nuk, toy, thing you wouldn't even normally give a baby. After that 10 minutes, your mind starts going a little CRAZY....like, deciding that listening to the "Frozen" cd for the billionth time PLUS a screaming baby just may set you over the damn edge, so you turn it off, resulting in a three year old asking why you have turned it off and starts crying, as well. Then, there are TWO crying kids in the car....one is wailing, kind of like nails on a chalk board, and the other is crying that pitiful back to back WAH that makes your milk let down. You contemplate pulling over and jumping out at Duffer's Pub, leaving them safely locked in the car for just a few minutes, but then you remember seeing things like this on the news. So, you turn the Frozen cd back on to stop the wailing and pray that maybe the WAH will stop. Nope. He WAH's until we get there....even throwing in the "Ma ma ma ma ma" that I have most recently learned is a combo between milk and Mama, but really, it all means me. When we FINALLY (effing FINALLY) get there, I jump out like there's a fire, start unbuckling him like a crazy woman and whip him on the boob before he's even out of the car all the way....I just stand there in the parking lot, making sure his ears and everything else is covered to keep him warm, loving the sound of no crying. 
At this point, I am SOOOO resenting my husband with attitudey teen at the Dr. I would trade places right about now..what was I thinking?? He could have taken the littles for this.
That's when the phone rings because there's a medication question, so we have a speakerphone convo with the Dr, baby hanging off my boob while I'm standing in the parking lot. Oh, HAHA, they sounded like they were having a grand time, joking with the Dr....damn, first time I was ever envious of anyone sitting with the Dr. My husband even forgot to hang up and the laughter made me snarl. That's horrible, isn't it?? No, it's not, reread the last damn paragraph. 

Then, we get into Target and I'm wearing Joseph and letting Madeline walk because we are there to get fun things for her. Well, apparently I forgot that a three year old is easily swayed on what she thinks is fun. At that moment, the stupid Target dollar area was what we went in there for. She picked up something and wanted to carry it along, I gave the 1-2-3 magic warning because that is the method I like to go with and she put the item back, but was still sad about it...you know, the kind of sad where the whole store needs to know about it. She was taking her deep breaths, but still having a hard time with the rule I had set in place. SUPER FUN TARGET VISIT. Anyway, found what we were there for and she was thrilled!!! Cute, little black leotard for ballet with diamonds in the back!

But, I needed to get the tights and shoes at another place....Payless. Alright, that's at the mall. Fine. Load the kids back in the car and travel another 15 minutes. Joseph was alright for that little car ride...even when I turned in the wrong shopping center.errrr.
We get to the mall, again I wear Joseph and have Madeline walk. Turns out that where we parked, at the END of the mall, is the EXACT opposite END of where the store is. My luck. So, it took a good half an hour just for Madeline to walk to the store, not even counting the pretzel and smoothie samples, water fountain penny throwing and conversations with anyone that would talk to her. DAMN, I have some patience. The lady at Payless was a huge help and explained to Madeline how ballet slippers had to fit tight. THEN THE WALK BACK. Same damn thing, samples and all. HAHA, I had to laugh at that point. Laughing stops when my husband tells me he filled prescriptions for THREE months for Joshua that he doesn't even use that often(rescue inhalers)....try telling him he is wrong, but also secretly hating on his quiet time while sitting at the pharmacy, waiting for the rx. FUN, money wasted because of a stubborn man....I can guarantee it's not the first time.

The ride home. Reread the first paragraph, but he was actually distracted for a few brief minutes by our singing and Madeline's peek-a-boo with animal sounds. I said BRIEF.


There you go. It's NOT all puppies and rainbows, people!

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