As you know, I was in prodromal labor for a week. It was an exhausting week, that's for sure, with hardly any sleep. But, I did not schedule a c-section, I waited for our little [unknown at the time] boy to come on his own time, preferably VBAC. He decided that Sunday night would be a good time to start the arrival process...and wow, it happened fast! Contractions picked up around 10:30pm and my Mom could tell this was it...she was following me around, making sure a baby didn't fall out as I bathed and rocked on my ball. We decided to wake a frantic Anthony up at 11:15....when he saw it was raining outside, he was definitely panicked over our 45 minute drive to the hospital. We woke up Josh, who asked if he'd still be going to baseball practice on Monday night, and brought the monitor down for him to watch.
Now, the ride there, that was a doozy. It was raining and I was contracting what felt like every 2 seconds and there was a small leak in my water...so my Mom kept checking my crotch to make sure it was just clear. Anthony later admitted that he thought he was going to have a heart attack on the way there. Poor guy. 45 minutes of thinking he wouldn't make it to the hospital in time.
We arrived at the hospital and were greeted by the most negative nurse I gave ever encountered. I said I needed to use the restroom and her eyes bulged out of her head as she told me the dr needs to see me right away since I've had two previous c-sections. Her eyes then bulged out of her head again when I told her I was planning to VBAC. Then I came out of the bathroom and my water broke everywhere at about 12:15am...what a cool experience and the look on my husbands face was priceless. Negative nurse then came rushing in and insisting I get in the bed immediately...as if my previous C-sections made me a ticking time bomb. She checked me and said in a nasty voice that I was only 2cm then hooked me up to the monitor and immediately started whispering to herself about the baby being in distress instead of talking to us. Following behind her was an angel of a nurse that was actually the charge nurse that night, as negative nurse was trying to whisper to her, she explained to us that the baby's heartbeat was lower than they would like. She also explained that it could change and things could take a turn for the better and I will have the labor that I want. I usually care so much about people's feelings and I don't want to hurt them, but right in front of negative nurse, I asked angel nurse to stay with me and not leave. She then sent in a nurse named Tiffany...she was equally another angel nurse.
My Dr then came in and checked me. He was very pleased to find that I was at 5cm. Take that negative nurse! They then moved me to a labor and delivery room. I cried with excitement, with Anthony, my Mom and nurse Tiffany equally emotional by my side. At about 1am, they checked me and I was more like 6cm, but the baby still hadn't moved down and the heartbeat would still go way down. So, the Dr requested that I get an epidural in case the heartbeat did not come back up. I didn't argue. They then had me lay on my side in hopes that would be a better position for the baby. The Dr came in again at 2am to check me, they were hoping this would go quickly, considering our eyes were all glued onto the baby's heartbeat monitor. Still at 6cm, but the baby moved down a little more...
After that, I ended up getting a little nap, but was woken by my biggest fear of an epidural...it stopped working. The nurse said it may just need some more medicine, since they kept me on a very low dose to begin with..the pain became so intense that they could tell it was working at all when I got up and went into an all fours position. So, they gave me a little more to take the edge off, but I didn't want too much to where I couldn't feel what was going on, so I was still able to move around and position in a way that would hopefully keep the baby and monitor happy. It was about 4am when the Dr said I was at 7cm, possibly 8, but the baby was still at a -1 and the heartbeat was at a very uncomfortable point.
We watched it for another hour until the Dr came in with a look on his face that I knew wasn't going to be what I wanted to hear. I could tell that he hated what he was about to say to me. I couldn't comprehend what he was saying...I just stared at the ceiling. Everyone in the room looked so heartbroken for me...my husband, my mom, the Dr, the nurse. Then my husband came face to face with me and explained, through tears in his eyes, how proud he was of me and how it didn't matter how our baby came into the world, it was how I had done everything I could possibly do and taken care of them while inside me and how I would take care of them when they were outside..how smart Joshua and Madeline are and how they had come into the world...and mainly, what an amazing mother I was either way. We cried, we hugged, I accepted what had to be done for the safety of our baby. My husband gave me the strength not to be disappointed in myself. My husband gave me the strength to move past what I had worked toward for nine months and focus on the end result.
The entire OR team was so caring and compassionate toward our current position and sudden fate that we were faced with. The anesthesiologist was informed how the last time I had an epidural during an unplanned C-section, I started feeling it as they cut and had to be sedated...he made sure that wouldn't happen this time, he was amazing, rubbing my head and telling me what good hands I was in. They all coddled me until Anthony was able to enter. Then he talked to me the whole time. I could hear the difficulty in the Drs trying to get him out and asked Anthony to talk to me....so we talked, we talked about the excitement of whether we were having a boy or a girl. We talked about what Madeline's reaction would be. We talked about how much we love each other...and before I knew it, it was time to get the video camera ready.
At 6:37 am, Joseph Anthony entered this world, he was placed with his Mama..where he should be. He stayed with me the entire time I was being closed up, looking into my eyes. He was wheeled right next to me as I was taken into recovery, where he breastfed for the first time. I may not have experienced the labor that I wanted, but my baby was right there, snuggled up to me the entire time, so honestly, I didn't give it another thought. All I saw was this beautiful 8 lb. 12oz., 21 inch long handsome new guy that I was completely in love with already.
All I can think is that if we hadn't made the decision when we did, I probably would not have been able to experience that. With all the trouble they had getting him out at that point, any later could have been worse, he may have been rushed off to another room to be monitored instead of being where he should be. I have never experienced that before...having my baby placed on me after they were born and I am so grateful to have had that experience. It is something I will hold in my heart forever.
Thank you to my husband for being the most amazing support system I could ever imagine having..I could not make it through anything without him. Thank you to my parents, grandparents, son and family that have stood by me and helped me through these past couple weeks. Thank you to all of my wonderful friends that have been there to cheer me on along the way...and the packages I have been receiving, OH MY GOSH, you guys are amazing. Thank you to everyone that has put their thoughts and prayers into my wish for a natural labor. Thank you to those that have been there for me through everything that has gone on this week.
Don't you worry, I am at peace with it all....after all, how could I not be with this beautiful face to look at??!!
Birth video and more pictures to follow.
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