Paid for

Need a laugh? My daily chaos could definitely help you out with that. Sometimes, I don't even tell my husband about my brain farts forgetfulness...he says it is because I only have baby interaction all day. Maybe he thinks I'm slowly losing it. So yeah, I kept this one to myself.
Even though it conflicted with Madeline's nap, I attempted a Starbucks Story time, only to order an iced coffee and walk out. These kids looked like they should be in school and I would have felt ridiculous there with my (almost) 14 month old, trying to get into everything while they just sat there. Then I ran around like a crazy coupon lady...I don't have stock piles and all that shit, but I get a HUGE thrill out of savings. Oh and savings to me may not be what it is to you. I just match the coupons with the sales...nothing too complicated.haha.
Side note: Why in the hell does Madeline act like everyone that talks to her is going to STEAL her??? GAH! It is totally embarrassing. The second someone says hello, she points to me, gives them the business, then reaches for me. I think she is saying, "You can't steal me, this is my Mom, she is crazy and will karate chop you if you try. Pick me up, Mommy, together we will morph into a super ninja and fight this maniac off!". Needless to say, people run from my child in the store.
Anyway, back to my day, since Madeline didn't get her nap, I stopped by the house because Josh was home early, then went about my errands.((Oh and be jealous, having a 12 yr old and baby is the most awesome thing ever, he is an AMAZING babysitter.)) I had to stop to get gas, so I went to Wawa, paid for my Monster (new addiction now that I have finished nursing) and gas. Then I went onto the other store I had match coupons with....KILLED it...and was on my way home. Well, my gas light came on!! WHAT? I stopped and paid for gas before the store!!! Yeah, paid for, but never pumped!!!! I couldn't even believe it. Should I go back and say something or just go home?? Gas is ridiculous, so I decided to go back...pulling a manager aside and saying, "This is probably the dumbest thing you will hear all day, but.....". Well, amazingly enough, the man that pulled up after me, came in, told the truth and insisted on paying for his gas. WOW. There are still honest people in this world today. I love it! THIS is why I am always honest when something falls into my favor is a mistake. I always correct it. What a wonderfully, honest man that pulled up after me. God bless him.
Yep, there it was...and I have at least one of these EVERY day. SAHM mom thing? blonde thing? or just human nature? Who knows, but I felt like an idiot.

This is what it is like

It has been a long day. Well, more like a long afternoon.
I went to clean the garden out yesterday and saw the biggest spider I have ever seen....that being said, it keeps getting bigger in my memory. But really, it was BIG. So, I decided to delegate this task as one of Joshua's daily chores. We usually think of something easy, like unpack a box or two, but not today....today it was cleaning out the back garden.
GAH!!!! THIS IS WHY I'M DRINKING WINE NOW!!!!!
Josh is also scared of spiders...it's my fault, I know. But, (until you have a tween boy, don't judge) I made him conquer his fears today...solely on the fact that I've never met a man that is afraid TERRIFIED of bugs. I am aware that he is not a man, but he will be some day...so I'm doing him a favor.
It was insane. He kept coming in, saying he couldn't do it....that he saw huge spiders and was too scared. Then, there was a toad. Yeah, only my kid would be scared of a toad!! (I'd take a million toads over one spider) I was going to pick it up and kiss it, but for one, I already have my prince and for two, Josh may have passed out.
It was definitely a struggle though. I have never actually struggled with him so much over anything. He did a great job during the time he was actually working and not complaining....needless to say, there is a lot more for him to do tomorrow.

When my husband came home, bearing iced coffee and mint chocolate chip ice cream, I had one of my ah-ha moments...this is what it is like to have a partner in parenting. And after so many years of not having that, DAMN does it feel good. Even though he had an incredibly hard day, he had still taken that minute to acknowledge me....he does this all the time. Such a small gesture can mean so much when you're stressed and he understands that more than anyone I have ever know...no wonder I feel in love with him.
I make sure to tell him how much I appreciate each little thought because it amazes me how thoughtful he is.

Well, here's to tomorrow and hoping Josh finds his inner brave... sigh.

Say a little prayer for my sanity, y'all.

Where's Josh at?

Madeline is a pretty talkative girl and she loves to repeat me! It is so funny that I don't realize just how much I say something until she starts to say it...then it's like I have a mini me! She is very in love with Josh and is always either yelling for him (ahem, like me) or asking me "Where's Josh at?"

She's a difficult one to capture on video because she worries more about the camera instead of what she was doing, but I caught a little convo during bath time. Sometimes the blogger video acts weird, so hopefully you can see it, otherwise I'll have to go through youtube.

THAT WAS MY MOMENT

Nursing was on my list of things I'd never do.

Oh, here's a warning...if boobs as a food source gross you out, don't keep reading....oh, and grow up. If you are a breastfeeding enthusiast, please excuse my ignorance.

Anyway, I thought nursing was disgusting. I didn't even like the thought of it or (here's where I would like to slap my former self) the thought of a breast-fed baby spitting up boob juice on me. Seriously, who thinks like that? I did. I saw the breast as an accessory, something to fill pretty lingerie and make a dress sexy. 

When I found out I was pregnant, I was dead set against it. It grossed me out. I just knew it would hurt. My breasts would sag after. I would be the only one that could feed them. Anthony wouldn't be able to help me. NO WAY was I going to do that to myself.
Now, the first question everyone (mainly my generation and the older generation) asked after they found out I was expecting, "Are you going to breastfeed?"....followed by "just give it a try" or "just let the baby get the colostrum". I remember thinking, why in the hell does everyone care how I feed MY baby??

When I started showing and it felt real, I started making a compromise with myself. Maybe I should pump? If my body is going to make it, I may as well use it. I won't have to actually have a baby on my boob. This could work. Telling people that, made them chuckle and add their opinions.... Do you realize how much of a time commitment that is? You're going to pump, then give a bottle, then have to pump again. You need a professional pump. You'll get clogged ducts...mastitis..infections...deformed nipples! Haha, yes, someone really did say the last one. ((shout out to all my EP mamas, y'all rock!!!))

I'm glad there was persistence from some people (you know who you are) because about halfway through my pregnancy, I started to come around. But, I was so negative with my thought process, at first, that I'm surprised I didn't drive everyone crazy. Maybe I'll just try it...if it hurts, I'm stopping right away. If she doesn't latch, I'm stopping right away. If it does go alright, I will NOT nurse past 3 months...I'm going to pump after that. I would also tell Anthony and my Mom (and anyone that had nursed and would talk to me really) my fears and have them reassure me everyday that I CAN do it.

You know how people have that beautiful story of the birth and then the doctor places the baby in your arms and you are instantly in love? C-section mamas don't get that moment. So, my moment was when the nurse placed her in my arms, I looked her over and then she helped me get her to latch on. THAT WAS MY MOMENT. Thank god my husband snapped a picture, that I tear up every time I see it, because the look of pure amazement that I am feeding, nurturing and comforting my daughter is all over my face. It is an indescribable feeling to be nursing your baby. There is a bond that is formed instantly.
I had one of those rare experiences though because it came so easily. The first couple days were rocky, but that was my own nervousness. My fear was that she would just forget how to latch and then she would be starving! So, I asked my Mom and Me-mom to stay an extra day to help me. I also had Anthony run out and rent a professional pump (just in case), those nipple shields (just in case), a years supply of lanolin cream. And I didn't need any of those. Yeah, ridiculous. But, it makes me appreciate having a wonderful husband and family.

And here I am, 13 months later, sad that Wednesday night was our last nursing session. 

It was such an amazing feeling to have her look up at me while nursing, many times a day at first, with those big, beautiful eyes. I will hold onto every single one of those moments in my heart because that was something only I could do for her, it was our special time together.

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice, encouragement and support. And for making me see the sentimental importance of nursing. 

Ok...I'm ready for another squishy little infant now.

First gtg in the new house

We're here! In the new house! We have been for about 6 days. It feels like so long ago, but then again, the move felt like forever too. Oh wait, there were 6 days of actually moving stuff, so yeah, that's a long time.
There is still so much to do, unpack, paint, etc, but we are loving it.
Josh has been in a new school for 4 days and is already "going out" with someone. He's a big hit here though and has entire lunch tables of girls swooning. Anthony thinks it is the whole new kid thing, I think it is the hair. Either way, it annoys me when he's "going out" with a girl. It doesn't actually mean they are going somewhere, it just means his face is going to be buried in his phone, texting, for the next few weeks.
Madeline has bronchitis AGAIN. Yeesh, never a dull moment. Poor baby girl.
Even though we still have boxes everywhere, we had a small get together on Sunday for Anthony's birthday.

Anthony's Phillies cake & Bud's Xbox controller cake

UH, Me-mom & Be-pop!

PT, Bud, Donna & Mom Cece

Trying to put together Josh's pitching trainer

Dad chillin. He needs a recliner. ;)

With Aunt Mimi!

I LOVE how Madeline is looking at Be-pop here.

Bud making a wish.

Singing with Daddy!

She loved it!

YAY!

Yep, so that was our first gtg in the new house!
I have painting to do and all that good stuff. I'll be sure to post pictures as I complete projects!!