Do you ever eat Cool Whip straight from the container? Sometimes I cannot control myself. And it's so gross...like one of those things that tastes delicious when you're eating it, but leaves an oily aftertaste and then you realize how gross it really is.
Well, there are hiccups in my ribs...do you know what that means? This baby has went breech on me again. Seriously. I don't know how much room could possibly be left, but she/he needs to turn the heck around, like immediately. So, that means I'll be hanging upside down again...trying to relieve pressure and loosen things up for yet another and hopefully final flip. Not cool, baby, not cool at all.
So, I have some pretty awesome friends, they sent this amazing box...a big sister shirt for Madeline, a Phillies shirt for Joshua and "New Baby" books! Love it all! We already read "Waiting for Baby" before nap and Madeline loved it.
What a thoughtful gift from some amazingly thoughtful ladies!
From one of the books....LOVE.
After I read the book, I started thinking about Madeline not being "the baby" anymore and couldn't help get that sad feeling once again. She steals everyone's heart, lights up a room and loves the attention she is given... Even today, we were out to lunch with Me-mom and Be-pop and I couldn't help but say that she is the cutest little thing in the world...there's no possible way another baby will be this adorable. That's horrible, isn't it? I was assured that this baby will be equally adorable and that I would no longer feel this way the second I lay eyes on her/him. And I'm sure you think, well didn't this happen when you had Madeline since you already had Joshua? It's completely different. They are at different stages...Josh is in a stage that we cannot wait for him to get out of. Madeline is at the most awesome age/stage right now, one we cannot get enough of, she is SO much fun. If I wasn't so old, I definitely would have waited another 10 or so years before having another baby. But then again, growing up, I had always wished to have a sibling close to my age...so I'm sure it will be double the cuteness to have these two babies growing up together. Then, in about 10 years, it will be double the trouble.haha. BRING ON THE WRINKLES.
I'm nearing the end, I can feel it...I still have about a month to go, but my mind and body are preparing. I can breath a little better, the baby has dropped a slight bit. I am exhausted, yet I can't control this feeling to stop doing things, cleaning, sorting, painting, gardening. I have random, deep contractions that are not like the normal Braxton Hicks I have been getting, my body is in preparation mode. My hips ache in an excruciating way, the pressure is lower, the baby is lower. All good things.
I remember all of this from before I went into labor with Joshua. I did not have these feelings with Madeline, I think it's because I didn't give her the time to let me feel them. My mind was ready, but my body was not, so I let a Dr control when I was ready. I will allow my body to speak to me this time...that is what a woman's body is supposed to do.
Last week, one of my favorite blogs, Birth Without Fear, was posting "I am strong" posts from women that were strong because of their birth/life experiences. I read every single one, which was every hour, and kept thinking, 'wow, these women ARE strong'. Then I started thinking about myself. If someone were to read my story, I bet they would think I am strong too...no, that's the wrong way to think about it. I couldn't help but think, I AM STRONG.
I won't reveal my entire strong story because, lord knows, I have been through a lifetime of things that have made me strong, so this is just a month of it... I am strong because I accidentally became pregnant at 16...not at all glamorous like the show "16 and pregnant", trust me..it definitely seems more acceptable now to be 16, 18, whatever, young, unmarried and pregnant. It almost makes me wonder if this happened to me now, 14 years later and I was 16, if things would have been different...I also can't let myself think that way either. I turned around and it was just me, with a belly full of baby. I am strong because I did not let the lack of support system affect my decisions when I went into labor a month and a half early. I am strong because I labored for days, as a confused, alone teenager...I think about this in a different light now, teenagers are not supposed to labor at all, but that doesn't seem to be slowing down the rate of pregnant teens. I am strong because in my confused, exhausted state, I had an emergency cesarean, which I felt half way through and needed to be sedated. I am strong because when I woke up, at nearly 11pm, to find out my baby was in the NICU and I was not able to meet him until the morning, even though a father and family that would be around for only a few years after that were able to. There were no camera phones and text messages 14 years ago, so I could see what he looked like. I am strong because once the nurse wheeled me to the NICU to see my baby that was thought to have spinal meningitis, I did not leave, only when they needed to check me, I would be wheeled back to my room, checked and wheeled back, IVs and all. I am strong because, at 17, when I could have used this as my last few weeks of freedom, I did not leave his side. I slept in the NICU recliner for 2 weeks after I was discharged, nurses were kind enough to find a vacant shower for me and sometimes order a cafeteria tray when I obviously couldn't afford to eat there every day. Two weeks after that, he was moved to another hospital, where I did the same. I am strong because I got through all of this alone. As I think about it, THIS is part of what made me into the person I am today. I would say that my support system has changed and grown, as have I, not by quantity, but by quality. I AM STRONG.
Can I also add, I am strong because I conquer..erm, survive.. a teenage attitude daily? Enough said.ha!
When I think about what I did at 16/17, I realize that the sky is the limit at 31. I don't know what happened at 29, why I gave in so easily, I guess I just wasn't prepared and confident in what my body can do. But, through much support and research, I now know I can control my body.
I know my posts are usually silly stories and complaints, but there are some serious thoughts in my head, you know.
Here's some humor....
I will not release the names of the older persons that "may" have taught her this, but this is what happened at breakfast. [[edit:: you have to listen to what she says at the end. My husband watched this and just thought it was because she was messy]]
HAHA. I'm totally ignoring it....and dropping stuff randomly and saying, "Geez oh whiz"...maybe she will think she's saying it wrong?
Up and ready to get my garden on. These gardens are insane...why I didn't mulch and prepare them last year, when I was fit and not pregnant, I do not know... but it would have been a hell of a lot easier this year if I had! Of course I'll have help over the weekend, but sometimes that's more stress than what it's worth. I want to at least get the front done today...it's the sides and back that are completely ridiculous, growing ginormous weeds by the second. I'll have to take a before and after picture of that...it's pretty insane and it happened over the course of a few days.
I made sure to step up my breakfast this morning, get those extra calories in so I can garden properly.haha....
[[I've determined that if I lived close to my grandparents, I would weigh a lot more than I do now because I would come over for breakfast every morning and request that Be-pop make me these waffles.]]
I can usually get quite a bit done with Madeline outside..except when she sees a bug, so it's just a every 30 second interruption, that's all. I SWEAR I DID NOT SCARE HER OF BUGS, Y'ALL. I may not like them, but I've never screamed or ran to set this example in which she demonstrates. She REALLY doesn't like "fwies" and "bumble bees"...I have no idea where the fear came from either. Maybe when she was sick and I had her watch The Bee Movie? Who knows. But, we're working on it. Lord knows, we live in a VERY buggy area, so she's going to have to move past this.
Cutest thing ever was when she was writing her name in bath crayons and saying it aloud last night...M-A-E-L-I-triangle-E...YAY!!! Kids are the best.
It has been a hell of a day. We had back to back Dr appointments with Josh's allergist and then my OB this morning, that actually worked out well and wasn't bad at all. But, then we were stopped on Route 30 for an hour due to a tractor trailer accident. The toddler actually accepted it a little better than the teen...surprise, surprise. But, now he's outside, weeding the heck out of the gardens.... I was out there too, but now I'm taking a break.
THIS is my excitement for the day....
WOOO-HOOOO!
Oh, my other excitement is that tomorrow night there is a VBAC Preparedness class that a member of my local ICAN group emailed me about. Eeeee!! I think after that, I will be able to finish writing my birth plan and prepare myself all together. I have been thinking about it a lot lately. The good, the bad, the unexpected. I cannot control the outcome, but I can control how it is handled. That is what I am keeping in my head.
You know how everyone says you forget the aches and pains of pregnancy once its over and that is why women have 2nd, 3rd, 4th babies? It's so true. It actually takes that familiar ache/pain to hit me before I remember it from previous pregnancies. Like last night, I had debilitating leg cramps hit. I wanted to yell out so bad, but I knew I'd wake Anthony up and send him into a panic...and that would be worse than the pain. Oh, and how about when the baby decides to play games and flip from head down to transverse....yeah, only feels like my entire body is going to rip open. I also forgot about how the indigestion during the last few weeks feels like your insides are on fire..and it takes about 6 tums to calm that fire down. Oh yeah, and when it takes every effort to roll into a more comfortable sleeping position...and by the time you do, you're fully awake anyway. It is truly amazing what women go through while pregnant and they still continue to do it. Same with labor...but that's a whole new topic for another day. I know all of these aches and pains are well worth the outcome, though. Growing a baby is the most special feeling in the world.
Ah, here's a couple of Pinterest projects I did for our anniversary!
Let's start with the food..MMMMMmmmmmm....
And I made this for Anthony, it's the lyrics from first dance at our wedding reception. Well, actually our first dance was Pitbull as we were coming in.haha. But, this was our first slow dance together. 3rd Anniversary is leather, so I kept with that tradition, as well.
April 24th. It's anniversary day! Not really any different from any other day... we always tell each other how in love we are and how much we appreciate the roles we both play in our every day crazy, hectic life. We are that mushy couple pretty much all the time. We love the life we have made together, our children, our family.
This man would and does drive 45 minutes to get me something I am craving, does things he can't stand just to make me happy, remembers every little thing I mention I like and surprises me with it, always finds a way to make me smile, fathers our children in the most amazing way [[I seriously don't know what I would do without him with a teenage boy]], works hard to provide for our family, coaches baseball and gives all of his love, heart and soul to us. I don't just know this and acknowledge it today, on our anniversary, but every day.
So, that part in there about the teenage boy....I think I'd rather have three toddlers than a teenager. I'm not kidding. Or even three newborns. This age is for the birds.seriously. Lately, when I'm in the moment of dealing with an issue, I try to close my eyes and picture him at a cute age...it works for a few seconds.
No wonder I have all of these ridiculous forehead wrinkles. I'm constantly scrunching up my forehead, so I shouldn't really be surprised. I'm currently trying to make my face less expressive while having conversations, so I don't make them worse....my grandmother thinks I just look creepy when I do this.haha. When I'm no longer pregnant, I'm investing in some top quality wrinkle cream before I look 60 instead of 30-ish.
My brother became a father on Sunday to a beautiful baby girl that is still in the hospital. I don't share others stories or pictures, but I will say that she is precious and strong. I have been thinking about and praying for her constantly.
Madeline was VERY confused when I told her I was going to see the baby, she kept looking at and feeling my belly...I think she expected me to come back with our baby. Soon enough...soon enough.
Watch out for the BIG girl!
She cracks me up though. Today, the girl actually used the potty as an excuse not to nap. Correction, she did NOT use the potty...she just said she needed to so she could prolong the nap time. Knowing darn well she doesn't have the least bit of interest in this potty yet, I still entertained the idea and let her sit there, get up and sit there.
Her current obsession is "painted sparkle piggies"...OMG, having cute little painted toenails absolutely KILLS me....
Too darn cute...seeing those pudgy little painted piggies!
Funny story of the day, she's holding my hand and says (*mouth full of goldfish*), "Mommy, you need goldfish too." and proceeds to spit them in my hand. I really had to hide my laughter on that one.
Cleaning the fridge out is always an awesome feeling, like I really accomplished something big today ((if you had seen it, you would agree that I have))...until you realize you really need to go grocery shopping....
I guess when you're hugely pregnant and haven't been to the gym in a week and a half, people automatically think you had the baby. So, it was like a welcome back today.
The best part was carrying Madeline out screaming because she couldn't take a toy cupcake with her. These people at the gym care must think the poor child has no toys at home with the way she becomes so attached and gives such a sad face that the ladies say she can just take the toy with her. Very sweet of them to rather her take the toy than to be sad, but that's not really teaching a toddler anything. So, I'm the bad guy, prying the toy from her hands, this is all after repeatedly asking her to just say good-bye and we'll play with it next time. Toddler fits are awesome. They really are. More so AFTER they are already over...then you think about it and it makes you giggle. Last night, she had a fit because I gave her red grapes instead of green. In the moment of the fit, I found myself looking at her with wide eyes, thinking 'Is this chick really crying over the color of the grapes?'. Then I thought about how I felt on Saturday when I had my heart set on a Cannoli from Whole Foods. I walked in, went to the bakery and nothing...no Cannoli in sight. I really felt like that warranted a toddler fit...I felt it all throughout my body, like I really could have cried over it.haha. So, I can understand the tantrums...I think everyone should be allowed to have them. It's VERY hard not getting what you want and at their age, they don't understand WHY they can't have what they want. Hell, even at my age, I can't understand why I can't have what I want!
Hmmm...more toddler fit stories? I have tons of them. I could actually incorporate one every single time I post!
She's definitely a girl with her own mind. This morning, I went in her room to get her and she said, "Mommy, I have mench (french) toast, green grapes and manana for bekfast". Oh, and when we went downstairs so I could prepare this feast, she asked me to jump rope first. It always makes me laugh when my husband comes home and asks what we did all day....I would wear him out just telling him. Especially considering I have this baby inside, sucking the life out of me. Oh, did you just picture my big, pregnant ass butt jumping rope? Yeah, it's quite comical.
I just searched my phone for a picture, this is from a couple of days ago, so just add more hugeness and that's what I look like now.haha.
And considering I was just talking about how I need to put the safety net on the trampoline yesterday, I figured I'd share this...
I can't believe how long it actually took Madeline to get over the stomach bug, but it's away for good now and we hope it never comes back!
However, it is taking us quite a few days to get back to a regular routine...like nap time. My eye is twitching right now, hearing/watching her on the monitor, yelling that she needs lunch, when in fact she did have lunch. She has been coming up with some clever excuses not to be in bed lately...man, they sure do know how to tug at the heart strings.
I think my eye is also twitching because my teenage son had a half day. Enough said.
So, what have I been up to? Well, besides trying to stay sane while taking care of a sick toddler, I have this tiny new obsession. Let me explain first. I get on these kicks, over things that I will research the hell out of and talk about constantly, possibly driving my husband crazy...okay, not possibly, I DO drive my husband crazy over them. Not only do I talk to him about it constantly, but it usually involves him in some way or another.haha.
These past couple days, it has been Craigslist. Mainly looking for fun outside things to put in this ginormous backyard of ours. I bought a small bounce house for Madeline, only to find that there is a tiny leak in one of the pillars. [sad face] She can jump in it and it holds up, but it will deflate after sitting for a couple hours. So, back to it involving Anthony, he has been trying everything to patch this leak for me. Then, I had him take me somewhere to look at a swing set/playhouse...he didn't have the heart to tell me it wasn't worth it, so he had me send a picture to my Dad to let me know it was junk.haha. This Saturday, Anthony was taking Josh and a few boys to the movies in our SUV, so I hopped in our smaller car to pick up a trampoline. It was disassembled, but it still took up every bit of space in the car...it was quite comical. I unloaded it before he got home and thought I had it assembled pretty well, until he moved it and it fell apart. So, involving Anthony again, while grumbling about how he doesn't know a damn thing about trampolines, assembled it correctly and took on the major task of attaching the net. We still need to move it to level ground and attach the safety net, but I was quite satisfied with the finished product.
Oh, chickens and goats have been on my mind too. So, he texts me today and says he knows someone that will help us build an enclosure and shelter. Things you never thought you'd hear your husband from Philly say.haha!
This was just over the past couple days, so it is only a taste of what my tiny obsessions bring. But, I must say, I have a pretty awesome husband for just going along with it and actually helping carry them out, even if they're annoying. I'm so lucky to have him...always by my side. [smile]
Other things on my mind....I MUST get this nursery prepared, even though the baby will not be using it yet. I'm hunting down fabric, painting furniture and frames, looking for cribs and need to have it done yesterday.
I also MUST prepare these gardens and get my veggies going before I get too pregnant to do so.
Baseball is also in full swing. Something else I have to be thankful to have such a great husband for. He is such a great coach and father..pitching, advising, running, playing, entertaining. We are lucky and blessed that he is so involved and doesn't mind running Josh back and forth to senior practice and legion practice.
She seems to enjoy it!
Still need to add the safety net!
Making Be-pops cake!
Enjoying the finished product!
Funny story, I pulled into the driveway and found someone sleeping in the trampoline. I couldn't believe that someone would just randomly sleep on something in our yard. I called Anthony and everything. Turns out the Josh had a half day of school and I didn't know.
I'm washing my first load of laundry, since Saturday, that does not have bodily fluids on it...I know, gross, right? I'm also sitting down, ALONE, with a cup of tea while Madeline naps. Seems kind of silly to be this excited over these little things. But, this stomach bug that our little bug caught was horrible...her first time actually being SICK. I'm talking laid in bed for two full days sick. And anyone that knows this little girl, knows how active she is! We watched more movies, or should I say the same movies over and over again, than I could handle. And I couldn't get up...noooo...I had to sit there and watch too.
Speaking of these movies, this little girl likes way too many "action" movies for me. What about some fairy tales? I want to watch Snow White and Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella and Little Mermaid! Nope, we watched Cars, Wreck It Ralph and Toy Story entirely too many times. I was able to sneak Finding Nemo and The Bee Movie in. Last night, it came to the point where I FORCED her to watch Cinderella. She said Cinderella was beautiful then fell asleep on me. haha.
I'm glad she was feeling better enough for a stroller walk today. I could tell how beautiful it was outside yesterday by the amount of birds singing and bugs zipping by the window I peered out. I had no idea it was THIS gorgeous! I have been waiting for this and I hope it stays. I'm so ready for flip flops and dresses instead of using every bit of energy to fit my boots over my not so skinny jeans.
So, before the sickness hit, we were having an awesome weekend. We decided to go to Plumpton Park Zoo on Saturday and it just so happened to be 'meet the bear cubs' day! I think I may have been more excited than Madeline. She did pet them for a second, then was interested in their ball and if she could play with it. Feeding the animals just about gave me a heart attack that her finger would get nipped, so I let Anthony take over that task...that's his favorite thing to do anyway.hehe.
I love this zoo. You can really tell how much the owners care for the animals. It's not like a zoo where the animals look depressed that they are caged up. It is a zoo where the staff is constantly interacting with them, hand feeding and all..even the bears and lions. A lot of them will come right over to the fence in a trusting way.
So, here's the picture overload.....
I love this cheesy smile of hers.
Fascinated with the baby bears.
Hehe...see, he loves feeding the animals.
I'm normally not fond of camels...but this couple wasn't so bad.
Looking at the chicken eggs.
She loved the peacocks walking around.
She wouldn't use the open hand technique...making me a nervous wreck.
Obsessed with the rocks.
Any comparison between the two??
Hey, watch it!!
We even went to Lancaster after this and Madeline was still feeling fine, happy as can be.....
