is that a tiny violin playing for me???

So, the last time I posted it was to announce our surprise pregnancy. Pretty exciting stuff.

I feel like I can say that I'm normally a super positive person. That being said, I'm just going to be
honest and say I'm going through a pretty rough time. I have never felt this ill in my life. The Dr gave me an rx that didn't work at all. Then another rx that worked, but came with a wicked side effect that I'd rather not discuss and ended up making it not even worth it....it was baaaaad.
So, I've been in this disgusting, sickly funk that is quite depressing. I feel bad for everyone around me, actually. The kids because they don't understand why we hardly leave the house these days. My husband because the house looks like a war zone...it's embarrassing. The family because making dinner has become something I dread, and when I toss random stuff in the crockpot the aroma throws me into a fit of nausea. I'm actually a tad proud of the meals I prepared for vacation today...I even ate some for dinner. The dog because the poor thing was used to nightly training sessions and long walks. Myself because the only thing I have been eating and keep down is carbs...like really bad carbs...a roll, a bagel, mashed potatoes, plain pasta. It's gross...I feel gross. I try other things, but the nausea overpowers me until I put a solid carb down my throat.

**is that a tiny violin playing for me???** It should be.dammit.

I'm trying pretty damn hard to be positive, I really am. I know there is an end in sight...or at least I hope so. I know things could be worse. I know this is a sign that the baby is growing and all that jazz. Trust me, I know. I'm just so flippin tired of feeling sick and tired. I'm done feeling like I'm sucking at life with a messy house and bored kids and just wanting to sit and crappy dinners and a fat belly full of carbs. This will pass, blah, blah, blah. When is the baby able to hear?? I think I need to voice some complaints with my new tenant.

Life is full of surprises

It seems as though a little over a couple of months ago, God made a decision for us.
I had big plans for the summer. To do intense workouts every morning, be at the pool every day, to work and train our puppy every night. This routine would be my entire summer and everyone benefited from it.
Then I got sick, reeallllllly sick, for what felt like too long. Maybe I had a stubborn stomach bug? Does food poisoning last this long? When i woke up with a stiff neck, I knew exactly what it was, Lyme's disease. Ticks are bad this year.
It was Sunday when Anthony and I looked at each other and decided I should go to urgent care. Not just a regular Sunday, nope, this Sunday Joshua had a baseball championship. Super. So, I dropped him off at the field two hours before the game to warmup and drove to the closest [nothing is close to where we live] Urgent Care.
I arrived and was a little embarrassed when the front desk asked my symptoms...am I really here for nausea,vomiting and a stiff neck? I didn't care, I just wanted to feel better.
When I went back and the nurse asked me to take a urine test, I laughed and said "I'm on a Paraguard IUD and I'm nursing, but as you wish..."
I waited and then the Dr came in with a medical student, oh, they must be especially interested in whatever disease I must have. She lightly touched my arm ((wait, how did they know I was dying just from a urine test???)) and said, "Christina, you are pregnant." I'd like to say I jumped for joy, but really, I bawled my eyes out. It was shock...I don't even think I was this shocked when I was 16. They both comforted me, as I kept asking random things, "wow...Just wow....this is a good thing, right?....oh my god, is it ectopic?...I didn't think I'd do this again...is it in my tubes??....I thought I was losing my mind, I guess it was hormones??...is the baby in the right spot???...can you do an ultrasound?"
The Dr was so sweet, throwing tissues at me. Then, I let out a deep breath and thought about Anthony's reaction. She kept saying over and over again that I had to set up an appt the next day to check if it was an ectopic pregnancy and all I could think about was Anthony's reaction. Haha.
So, he doesn't know this, but I asked a friend what I should do. Should I drive home? Should I call him?? Josh's game was going to start soon. I couldn't possibly wait until after...so, I called. His reaction relaxed my whole entire body, as he chuckled over the phone... I kept telling him to stop laughing, but with each chuckle, my worries got smaller. We could do this. God had this plan for a reason. This baby was meant to be ours....heck, look at the obstacles it overcame to be here!
We made our appt, brought our little crew with us, and as soon as we entered the room, Madeline said, "Mommy, is there a baby in your belly?" We dismissed her question with a "we'll see" and surprisingly enough, she was ok with that.
When the Dr walked in, he laughed and said, "You know this was supposed to last 10 years, right?"...he also informed us of the less than 1% chance of this occurring.
Before the ultrasound, we had to remove the IUD. The Dr warned me that it may end our pregnancy and I fought back the tears that welled up in my eyes, looked at Anthony and knew in my heart that this baby was here to stay.
Apparently, the IUD was in the perfect spot and didn't disrupt our little baby and it's sac at all. We heard a beautiful little heartbeat and it was determined that I was 7 weeks (almost 10 now) and due on March 9th.

Wow. What a whirlwind it has been. We are so excited about our little surprise blessing..our less than 1% chance, little miracle. And I am happy and feeling blessed to let God make my plans for me.