SIXTEEN makes me sad. It is an age of independence, as we hand our children a card, give them the keys, and for the first time ever, entrust them with their own lives....well, sixteen and a half, anyway. It is an age where I will blink my eyes and my child will be an adult...or so that's what they think happens in 2 years. An age that is to be celebrated...and will be at his party next weekend. It's a big deal.
Honestly, it's so strange to me. Here is my baby, SIXTEEN years old, still my baby that I couldn't imagine anything ever happening to. But, there I was at this age, pregnant with him. Strange and scary....as we hope every single day he will make responsible choices. We have already had our fair share of situations that he should have handled differently. Go figure, he's not the perfect model teen!! We have these high expectations for our children....don't make the same mistake I did, go far in life, reach for the stars, you are the company you keep, look presentable while expressing yourself, blah, blah, blah. But, in reality, we are all here to make mistakes, learn from them, and be the best person we can be. After traveling down this teenage road with my son, I understand that. He WILL make mistakes, he WILL fall, and WE will be there to catch him. I hope he knows that. Even if we are upset with him, there are open arms for him to fall back on.
My son has been through a lot in his sixteen years. More than I wish he had. There are times that I wish he had the same opportunity as our children now.... Two parents in a loving relationship, a stable home, never having to see his mother struggle to put food on the table, never seeing the toll an abusive man can take on a woman. But, then he wouldn't be the guy he is today. Even if it isn't obvious, the boy really is thoughtful and appreciative....he worries about my feelings often, this is no surprise given our history.
Joshua. Most think of his quiet nature first and that makes me laugh because he's anything but quiet.
He really does make me laugh. I know I post funny, annoying things about him often, but the boy really does bring a smile to my face. He's an open book....he tells me about his day, the good and bad, things other people did, things that make me cringe!, every single day he walks in the door. Sometimes he talks SO much, I wonder if he will stop...but I quickly put that thought aside and keep listening because I'm glad he talks to me. Those that think he's so quiet, should be here when he gets home from school. He's always looking to make me proud, as he tells me about a test he tried hard on or about his baseball practice. He's so concerned with others and their feelings....definitely not the way they perceive him though because he could care less about that. He obsessively works out and tries to eat healthy...I'm quite sure I passed this not so great habit onto him. Loves being great at baseball, rapping, skateboarding, playing video games, youtube channels, and snap chatting his girlfriend.
Most importantly, he is absolutely amazing with the kids. He is a babysitter, a playmate, a role model (I have to remind him of this role often), a big brother that loves them dearly. It is so nice to know that I can leave the kids with him while I run to the store, and not have to worry. Hellllooooo summertime, built in set of hands!!! He says he doesn't want kids though...I think these siblings of his have scared him in the right direction until at least 30 years old. HAHA.
This boy has my heart and makes me so proud. I really hope that he grows up to be the absolutely amazing man I know he can be because the world needs more of them!
I can't believe we'll actually be celebrating next weekend and I'll have to fully admit he's SIXTEEN.
Alright, there will be SO many picture I'm digging up at his birthday party!
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