TWELVE??

Has it really been TWELVE whole years already? It makes me sad to think of how grown-up Joshua is. But, today is his birthday. Baseball and girls...those are his interests. Amazing how much things change, it used to be Thomas the Tank Engine and Elmo.
I look at him and I am proud. He has had more experiences than any pre-teen should, that's for sure. Born to a young mother, he went through all of the struggles there are to go through. It makes me sad to admit that he was not born with a father figure to look up to, that came later in his life, thanks to Anthony. But, for the first few years of life he experienced exactly what a Dad (or any man for the matter) is NOT supposed to be like....you name it, it happened. But, I don't want to make this into a depressing post, so I won't. (((I actually just called my little brother in the middle of this post to talk to him (an hour later) he talked to me and made me feel a lot better about the awful situation.))) I realize there is nothing I can do to change the past. I cannot erase the bad things people have done to Joshua, but what I can realize is how amazing he has it now. He loves Anthony. As hard as it is for a pre-teen boy to admit, he loves him dearly and tries to be just like him! I am so proud of my son and the things he has accomplished. I am proud of his intelligence. I am proud of how loving and cute he is. I am proud that he tells me everything, even when it turns my stomach to hear the grown-up things he tells me about. I am proud of how awesome he is at baseball. I am proud of how much he loves Madeline....god, he adores her....making her smile has become one of his favorite things to do. I am proud that he will not let anyone keep him down. I am proud of his strength.
I'm a bit emotional right now....years passing will do that to a Mother.

Even these picture from a few years ago, don't even look like him!!

Happy Birthday to my baby, I love you.